Amicus Mortis Posts
February 25, 2019 /

Reflections of Death Cafe Marrickville: Stepping into the unknown February 7, 2016

In September 2014, I facilitated my first Death Cafe; Death Cafe Marrickville.  Inspired by a friend who had been running Death Cafe’s in London (Death Cafe Hamstead), and who herself was deeply involved in the natural death movement, and after much thought and preparation, the time had come to step into the unknown.  Which I did one sunny spring day, heading for a nearby suburb in an attempt to  locate a cafe which would play host to my planned monthly events.

After receiving a wide range of responses, not all of which were overly encouraging, I found myself walking through a doorway and up a staircase which led initially to a first-floor landing.  This continued up to the second floor, and another small landing, on which was a black door.  Upon entering, I found myself in a huge room.  At one end of the room was a low stage, while running the length of one of the walls was a well decked out bar.  Ecclectic furniture decorated the room, with randomly arranged coffee tables, overstuffed couches and gorgeous Chesterfields quite literally consuming the entire space.  Art decor lamps offered muted light in the dim expanse, while heavy brocade drapes, hanging from a high ceiling across tall windows which faced the street, emitted slivers of the hot afternoon glare.

I remember feeling rather awkward, particularly as there was a group of men having a drink and chatting with one another next to the bar.  I wondered if I might have interrupted a gathering of sorts? After identifying the owner, I took a deep breath, launched into my ‘spiel’ and waited.  Craig, who I learnt later shared ownership of Lazy Bones Lounge with Alex, looked at me and said, “A death cafe, what a great idea.”  I was home.

Since that time, both Craig and Alex have generously hosted Death Cafe Marrickville.  Demonstrating great faith in my ability and commitment to encourage death-related discussion in the community, they have been tireless supporters of my endeavours, incredibly patient, and wonderful hosts; in addition to tea, coffee and cake, many a Death Cafe devotee has been offered a glass of wine by Craig during the afternoon session!

In reflecting on Death Cafe Marrickville, its’ been my experience that no two Death Café’s have ever been alike.  In fact, they’re all unique because everyone who attends, even the ‘regulars’ who may come and go, are internally touched in some way, or moved, by whatever they hear.  Being the facilitator, I am especially aware of this with regard to myself.  On many occasions I have learnt about aspects of the funeral industry I was previously unaware of, have had my ‘mental muscles’ poked, prodded and stimulated by attitudes, opinions and behaviour in contrast to my own, and have felt a deep communion with what I believe psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical suffering of others so often reveals; our shared humanity.

The Death Cafe movement (see deathcafe.com) has been inspirational in promoting community-based ‘death literacy’ or in layman’s terms, a forum designed to deconstruct the fear and stereotypes so often associated with death and dying related issues.

The Death Cafe movement was founded in 2011 by Jon Underwood from Hackney, East London, after being inspired by the eminent Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. He created the Death Cafe website and formalised the concept of free gatherings, hosted by willing individuals under a set of guidelines. At each meeting, people gather to discuss death and the varied topics and issues accompanying the subject. Far from being sombre or negative, feedback has proved the Death Cafes to be respectful, supportive occasions,  with warmth, laughter and lively discussion throughout. The enthusiasm generated by these gatherings has meant that the concept has travelled far and wide, mainly via word of mouth and social media.

If you’re interested in attending Death Cafe Marrickville, or just want to keep up to date with what’s on, visit us at facebook.com/deathcafemarrickville/

To RSVP, please email Michele at SalonDeMorte@gmail.com  and share a little about yourself, or visit us at Facebook facebook.com/deathcafemarrickville
February 25, 2019 /

Beginnings January 10, 2016

During 2015 I completed a Midwifing Death course.  At the same time I was editing a manuscript in readiness for publication in 2016.  The manuscript is an account of the Work as it was taught to me when I attended a Christian Esoteric school in Sydney, Australia, during which time I was taught the principles and practices of the Fourth Way (George I. Gurdjieff, 1866 – 1949) and Beyond the Fourth Way (Dr Philip W. Groves, 1920 – 1999).

As a product of this school, which I attended for fourteen years, it stands to reason that my perspective of life, death and the afterlife is heavily influenced by what I was taught.  But it’s more than what I was taught as a student of this School, it’s what life taught me, and that since I was a child, which has also been a significant influence in shaping my understanding of the cosmic use and purpose of humanity.

Like many people who have had access to education, I hold numerous university degrees and certificates, and while they all have relevant currency, I have always found that it is life that is the greatest university and the greatest teacher.  Accordingly, the lived experience of my life has demonstrated countless times that ‘death’ is in truth deathless existence, and our embodied existence in which we live life in the flesh provides us with the opportunity to work on ourselves.

In 2013 my PhD was conferred.  Prior to that time I never spoke or wrote publically about the spiritual experiences which continue to dominate my life.  Afterward however I did and though ridiculed, but never deterred, I braved derision, misunderstanding, fear, avoidance and anger to present my findings at national and international conferences, run bereavement support programs, and have articles published.  Perhaps it was the context in which I discoursed on death, the returning deceased, which made folk uneasy?  In truth I don’t know.

Through the coming together of the embodied and the disembodied a conjunction between two realities, one material the other non-material, is created.  It is within this space, and the stillness of reflection that can follow, that we are invited to become the living principle of a truth in action because in some way, unique to all who experience after-death contact, we know irrefutably that the dead do not die, and we do not die, we simply change our form and mode of existence.

But there’s more to it than that.  The occurrence of after-death contact indicates that something profound is not only occurring but being communicated as well.  After-death contact, the lived experience of it, is an experiential allegory of potential psychospiritual growth and development.  This potentiality can be utilised by the experient to re-evaluate the meaning of their existence as a human being, the meaning of life, and the meaning of their relationship with the sacred or the spiritually infinite.  Importantly, such events invite us to consider life and our participation in life from a transpersonal perspective.